This past week, my newsfeed, my social media, and my conversations with friends have all been filled with news of the “Israel Crisis''. I have watched as prominent celebrities criticised Israel and demanded that the government stop killing children in gaza. I have seen my friends post infographics declaring that the terrorist organization, Hamas is using children as human shields. I’ve heard blatant anti-semetic statements and watched videos of my friends laying on the floor protecting themselves from incoming rockets.
I am living 7,662 miles away from Israel, watching this crisis unfold. I am worried for the safety of my friends and family in Israel. I don’t know if anything people are saying is accurate. So what do I do? Do I speak out on social media, despite the fact that my friends who have done so received death threats? Do I attend the pro-Israel rally? Do I follow the steps of my ancestors and turn to prayer? The truth is, there is no right answer. There really never is. We have every right to feel scared and worried, as well as a right to stand up for what we believe in.
I’ve heard blatant anti-semetic statements and watched videos of my friends laying on the floor protecting themselves from incoming rockets.
I found the following mechanisms for dealing with tragedy from Chai Lifeline to be helpful, although it was aimed to address the tragedy of Meron it still applies now:
"It is far too early for anyone to rush to cope by trying to make sense of a tragedy this massive, and so far-reaching throughout the Jewish world. We try our best to slow down the racing thoughts and to collect ourselves. That is a healthy step because all of those who pulsate with pain, sadness, and fear, and all of those still numbed and in shock, need first to regroup. We need that step for our own wellbeing, and those who are turning to us in panic and confusion – our children, our students, our relatives – need support and attention. They need that from us, now.
Parents and adults: check-in with yourself. Identify your own reactions, because it is normal to react to tragic news. It is not normal to have no reaction at all. Notice your thoughts – disorganized, fixated and hyper-focused, obsessively worried, image-occupied, flashback memories – all of those are thought reactions, cognitive reactions, which can follow shocking, traumatizing information. Notice your emotions. They are not the same as your thoughts and need your acknowledgement, too. Sad, anxious, scared, tense, irritable – there is a range of emotions following the flood of traumatizing information and you want to be mindful of them. Physical sensations – they happen as well, following crisis events – and one might be suddenly energy-absent, hyper, restless, nauseous, insomnia.
Be aware of how you are reacting within. Behavior can seem different, you may have difficulty focusing on your tefillot (prayers) or your learning. We each react, we all react in our own ways, and step one is to be aware that you are affected by this, and identify how you are reacting.
Find a trusted friend or mentor, and talk through your distress. This is an essential next step in being able to regroup and reorganize. This is not a time to be judging, to be critical, or to make suggestions that sound good but may seem insensitive. Listen. Be supportive. Offer gentle encouragement, and not attempt to discourage anyone from having and sharing their current struggle.
Those are tools for adults. They enable and empower you to address others, including your children. Do so, and recall these guidelines:
Do not try to downplay with false optimism unless you know for certain that there is no personal cause for a youngster to be scared or worried about the loss of loved ones or friends.
Younger children do not need to hear or see gore or horrible detail.
Older children deserve to have their questions validated but again, move towards cautious reassurance rather than generating more fear in them.
Validate the soul-searching questions some older children pose but keep them with a perspective that we do not yet know all of the answers.
Be attentive to the family member or student who shows excessive distress, and seek consultation if their behavior or functioning concerns you.
Assure those who turn to you that you will keep them advised as more information comes forth. They should turn only to you and to responsible, trusted adults as needed.”
Maintaining a healthy mental state allows us to become a better ally for Israel. Some might decide to openly display their support for Israel online, in doing so we are obligated to do our own research and “fact check”. Before we click the “share post to story” button, we should take a step back to determine whether the information we are posting is accurate and truly informative. Halt the gossip and rumors, and avoid the excessive amplification of fact and assumption, which often invades the media. It is a seemingly lonely time to be a Jew, with “#Hitlerwasright” trending this week on twitter and the attempted lynching of a Jewish man in NYC, Anti-Semitism and Anti-Zionism are on the rise and it feels as though the only people speaking out are Jews.
“#Hitlerwasright” trending this week on twitter and the attempted lynching of a Jewish man in NYC, Anti-Semitism and Anti-Zionism are on the rise and it feels as though the only people speaking out are Jews.
Today Rabbi Piekes mentioned that the Jewish people have always been brought together through tragedy, and although it feels as though we are alone, there are thousands of Jews across the globe uniting. Not only has this conflict sparked unity throughout the Jewish people online and in communities, but it has evoked feelings of Jewish pride and Israeli pride across the globe. Although the next few news cycles are going to be difficult to read and tragedy is inevitable, just knowing that there is a community of people who take pride in their support for Israel as well as their Jewish identity is comforting.
Comments